What the Heart Wants
by Upsgirl88
Summary: Carol knows in her heart that Daryl is still alive. But she's on the road with Tyreese and they are getting closer every day. Will she find Daryl and finally admit her feelings in time? Or allow herself to fall for Tyreese?
1. Chapter 1

_So let your heart, Sweetheart, be your compass when you're lost and you should follow it where ever it may go. When it's all said and done you can walk instead of run, cause no matter what you'll never be alone. Never be alone. - Compass, Lady Antebellum_

The dream always started the same... cold... dark... eerily quiet... It had the air of a nightmare at first, but only for a second. As soon as she heard her name, spoken in that soft, deep voice reserved only for her, everything changed.

A feeling of warmth spread through her body, from her head down and her toes up, culminating in her chest. A light started to glow from somewhere in the distance, growing brighter, allowing her to see his face first, then the rest of him, and finally their surroundings.

This is where the dream veered off on its own path, changing, twisting and turning into something new and different. Sometimes it was a flashback of a moment they had already shared. Other times it was a moment she wished they could share. Sometimes it was in the current state of the world but, once in a while, it took place in earlier times. Times before they had even met, yet they still knew each other, just like they do now.

That night in particular, curled up in a tiny tent beside Tyreese, with baby Judith snuggled between them, she dreamed about a night back at the prison. A night that had never happened. A night she would have given anything to be a real memory. A night of delicious passion. A night of admissions, I love yous and honesty. A perfect night.

The dreams almost always ended with mind blowing, satisfying sex. There was nothing she could do to alter that, not even if she wanted to. It had been a long time since she had been with a man - even longer since she had been with a man she loved. It wasn't surprising her dreams included love making, though if he knew all her dreams were about him he would certainly be surprised. Not surprised in the sense that she had feelings for him. As dense as he was, there was no way he couldn't know she loved him. But surprised in that shy and insecure way. Surprised that he could be that important to anyone.

This dream was satisfying, in every way. He admitted his feelings. He said he loved her. And he showed her just how much. His hands roamed every inch of her. His lips covered her skin with kisses. After he found her lips he left her panting, gasping for air, and craving more.

Though him touching her was incredible, what was even more special was when he allowed her to touch him. Touch was not easy for him. He had scars. The emotional ones were far deeper than the raised marks on his back. But she had so many of her own. They were different but they came from the same place of pure evil.

Her hands grazed his skin, lightly, goosebumps rising in her wake. They were both naked and she watched him grow in response to her touch, though she hadn't touched him there yet. When she finally did he groaned.

Her heart was pounding when she woke from the dream. She had just cried out in pleasure, reaching her peak, clutching his body as her world spun out of control. She looked around, hoping she hadn't screamed out loud. Tyreese and Judith were both fast asleep and she sighed in relief. There was no mistaking cries of ecstasy for anything but. Tyreese would have known exactly what she was dreaming about. But would he have guessed the who?

They had talked about who they though might be waiting at Terminus. Tyreese told her he saw him and Beth running from the prison after the attack. They were the only ones Ty had spotted when he took off with the kids. She must have just missed him when she showed up in the aftermath and followed Tyreese, Lizzie and Mika.

When they had that conversation she broke down a bit. It wasn't like Tyreese didn't already know they had a deep friendship, that was quite obvious. But she wasn't sure if anyone really knew how she felt about him. He had her heart. Plain and simple. And she truly believed she would know if he was dead. He was alive. She had lost too much in this world to lose him too.

She had trouble saying his name without losing control of her emotions so she avoided talking about him for the most part. The dreams came though, every time she closed her eyes. They were bittersweet. It was beautiful to be able to share a moment or a memory with him but the ache it left in her heart when she woke was unbearable at times. She took a deep breath and wiped away a tear. She wouldn't trade the dreams for anything, she clung to them as if they were the last shred of him she had left.

Judith squirmed beside her and she rubbed her tiny back, soothing her to sleep again. The distraction was just what she needed though. She stared at the baby for a minute and realized how special Judith was. Lori had given her life to bring this baby into the world. She was a little ray of sunshine in a time of darkness. If they never found Judith's family or learned that Rick was dead, she would gladly raise her. But all she wanted was to put Judith into her dad's arms and give Rick the moment with his daughter that she had never got with Sophia.

She suddenly realized she wasn't the only one staring at the baby. When she lifted her eyes Tyreese looked up too and smiled at her. Her heart squeezed and did something she hadn't felt in quite some time, except in her dreams, it fluttered.

She looked away immediately. After everything they had been through together with Lizzie and Mika, and so many days alone, with no one to talk to but a baby and each other, they had become close. But the last few days something had changed. Ty looked at her differently.

The flutter was quickly replaced with a pang of guilt so sharp it felt like someone stabbed her in the stomach. Tyreese should not be making her heart flutter. That flutter was reserved for him. Only him.

It was in that moment that she realized she needed to find him sooner, rather than later. She needed to see him alive. To see his face, his smile, and the way his eyes always sought out hers in a crowd.

Carol had to find him. She had to find Daryl before it was too late. Before her heart did something stupid. She snuck one more look at Tyreese and this time there was no flutter. She returned his smile weakly and laid down to sleep, praying for one more dream to take her back to Daryl before the sun rose and he was gone again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: First of all, don't freak out my sweet Carylers. This is a Caryl fic, all the way. I won't disappoint you in the end and neither will Carol, promise! I also don't plan on making you endure anything intimate between Carol and Tyreese. This isn't that type of story. Stick with me, even if this chapter is a bit boring… Terminus is close ;) **

"_Tonight I'm gonna dance for all that we've been through. But I don't wanna dance if I'm not dancing with you. Tonight I'm gonna dance like you were in this room. But I don't wanna dance if I'm not dancing with you." – Holy Ground - Taylor Swift_

When Carol woke the next morning Judith was still sleeping softly beside her, but Tyreese was gone. They had made a pact to never go anywhere alone which caused her blood to boil as she climbed from the tent. She felt foolish for getting angry when she saw Tyreese sitting outside, working on a fire to start breakfast.

Carol must have had an angry scowl when she emerged because Tyreese was grinning at her. "I always keep my promise," he said, knowing exactly what was on her mind.

She smiled back at him and nodded, "Sorry, I'm not used to a man who does as he's told." They shared a laugh and she sat down, staring into the fire as the kindling caught and the flames grew. The sun was coming up, but it was still a bit cold. They would eat breakfast and wait for Judith to wake before they packed up and started travelling for the day. Her mind wandered to Daryl as the fire cracked and flickered before her. He never would have listened to her. If Carol had slept in Daryl would have gone hunting, brought back fresh meat and had it cleaned and cooked, waiting for her when she got up. And she would have been mad at him for a matter of seconds before she looked at his shy smile and melted.

Carol snuck a peek at Tyreese, concentrating on cooking something in a can that would soon be breakfast. He really was an amazing guy. They had been together for quite a while and she had yet to find a flaw in the man. He was polite, friendly, strong, brave, compassionate, loving, caring, forgiving… and the list went on. She saw small glimpses that he could have a temper, but it was related to Karen's murder and she could hardly blame him for his reaction to that.

If circumstances were different Tyreese would be just the kind of man she would want to spend her life with. He really was a dream catch. He was everything she wished Ed had been through years and years of abuse. From what she could tell, Tyreese was pretty much perfect.

But he wasn't Daryl. And the heart wants, what the heart wants. Daryl had many of the same character traits as Tyreese. He too was brave, strong, caring… even sensitive in rare moments. But there was so much more to him that she loved. He was brooding, mysterious, guarded and damaged. She related so much to his pain that she couldn't help but gravitate to him. Whether it was empathy, understanding, or just a sense of kinship in past misery, Carol loved Daryl's flaws as much as she loved everything good about him.

Tyreese separated half the can into another container and handed it to her. It was some kind of spaghetti stuff and Carol wrinkled her nose. But her stomach protested with a growl and after the first bite she polished off her portion hungrily. When he noticed she was finished Tyreese passed her a tube of toothpaste. He already knew about her teeth brushing obsession and it became a morning ritual for them both, after breakfast, just like it would if life was normal.

What Tyreese didn't know was that she already had developed a routine back at the prison. And every morning when they brushed their teeth together all she could think of was Daryl. The first run Daryl went on, once they were settled, he had returned with a few gifts for her. A brand new toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo and body wash. He had no idea about her compulsive need to brush her teeth and the level of excitement he was about to elicit when he gave her the gift. Carol had made him go immediately with her to the bathroom and brush their teeth together the second she realized he had brought back his own toothbrush as well. And that very night, before bed, she went to his cell and made him go with her again. After that they met every morning and every night. And each time Daryl went on a run he would somehow return with a new tube of toothpaste. It became their special little thing.

So now, the second she started brushing Carol half expected Daryl to be there beside her, teasing her about her technique. He thought it was funny how she cupped water in her hand and lifted it to her mouth to rinse. And she thought it was incredibly strange how he leaned in close to the tap and used his toothbrush to flick water into his mouth. One day they tried each other's method and ended up in a fit of giggles.

Carol pushed away the memories and focused on the task at hand. Tyreese was already rinsing with water from a bottle when she finally started brushing. It always felt a bit weird to have clean, fresh breath when she was wearing the same clothes she'd been in for days, almost weeks. But it was a delightfully weird feeling. At least there was one part of her that felt clean each and every day.

They started to gather things up when Judith began to whine inside the tent. Carol went in and got her, changing her diaper quickly before feeding her a jar of baby food and offering her a bottle. She realized early on that Tyreese had been watching her every move. She assumed it was just an admiration, or thankfulness to have someone to help him look after the baby. But when she caught his eye he smiled at her and Carol realized the admiration was far beyond appreciation of her motherly skills.

Part of her felt flattered, but there was also a sense of terror. Her heart wasn't available. Or was it? She pushed that thought away quickly. As long as Daryl was still alive she was taken, whether he knew it or not. But what if she never found Daryl? What if they made it to Terminus and he wasn't there? Again, she pushed the thought away. She would find him. She had to.

A few minutes later they were packed up. Tyreese was taking the first shift carrying Judith on his back. He never complained. If Carol didn't insist on taking a turn he would have carried her the whole time. Carol lifted her back pack and put it on, following Tyreese towards the tracks. The day before they had finally saw a map and signs for Terminus again. It had been days since they had seen one previous to that and Carol had started to worry they were going the wrong way. But the section of tracks must have been missed somehow and they were still headed in the right direction. Carol was confident they would arrive within a couple of days.

Travelling with a baby was difficult but they managed. They always stopped for a couple hours in the afternoon so Judith could nap after they fed her lunch. It was a nice break, but also frustrating knowing they were getting close and a few more precious hours of walking would have been preferred. Sometimes Carol and Ty napped too. Other times they sat and chatted quietly.

Carol had something pressing she had been wanting to ask Tyreese for days, particularly since she noticed his growing affection for her. It seemed like the right time to finally ask so she took a deep breath and started. "Tyreese, I need to know something."

He looked at her, concern in his brown eyes. Her tone was serious and he knew she had something important to say. "Okay…" he said, waiting for her to continue.

Carol looked away, then back to meet his eye, "Why did you forgive me? How could you forgive what I did?"

Ty blinked at her wordlessly. He had to have known she would ask someday. He seemed at first like he was prepared to reply, but took a while to choose his words. "I saw what you went through with those girls. I saw it rip you apart, break your heart… yet you held it together. You're the strongest person I have ever met." He reached for her hand and Carol let him take it. It was comforting, nothing more. "I know when you told me what you'd done you were prepared to die and I actually admired that. But I also knew that you carried the guilt of that decision in your heart. You did it because you were trying to save other people, and you didn't regret your decision, but you weren't okay with it either." Tyreese gathered his thoughts. "I also know that Karen would have died, whether you killed her or not. I guess in a way you were showing her a little bit of mercy and I am thankful for that."

He squeezed her hand. "I said I'll never forget what you did and I mean that. But I'm not sure if you understood at the time exactly what I meant when I said it. I can't forget. Neither can you. But I owe you for what you did. I would have let her suffer until the bitter end. I don't even know that I could have put her down when she turned." Tyreese's eyes filled with tears. "You have an inner strength that no one could ever match. You're a survivor. You've taught me so much. How could I not forgive you?"

Carol didn't know what to say. They sat in silence for a moment before Tyreese continued. "Will you ever forgive yourself? I don't just mean for killing Karen and David, I think you've made peace with that decision, whether you ever completely forgive yourself or not. But the girls… it wasn't your fault…"

They had never talked about what happened with Lizzie. Once they made the decision that she had to die that had been the last they spoke of it. Carol felt tears sting her eyes. She still wasn't ready to talk about it with him. She shook her head and looked up as a tear rolled down her cheek. Tyreese understood. He pulled her into a warm hug. "When you're ready to talk, I'm here to listen. Or maybe when we get to Terminus there will be someone else you would rather talk to about it…"

Carol felt guilty. She knew if Daryl was there in that exact moment she would talk to him. She would tell him everything and he would listen quietly. He wouldn't judge her, he would just let her get it out. He may not have said anything in reply and she still would have known exactly what he was thinking just by looking at his face. They had that type of connection. Tyreese would have felt obligated to say something. He would never have understood that she didn't need him to say anything at all. Most people don't get that. But Daryl knew. And she needed that.

When Tyreese released her she needed time to herself. "I'm going to lay down until Judith wakes up," she said softly. Carol unrolled a blanket and laid it on the ground then curled up on top of it. Even with everything Tyreese had said, she still couldn't understand how he could be falling in love with the person who murdered his girlfriend. It didn't make sense. But he was falling in love with her. She could see it, plain as day.

Carol closed her eyes and fell asleep quickly. She dreamed about Daryl, as usual. They were back on the Greene's farm and Sophia was still alive. Daryl had found her in the woods and brought her back. It was a beautiful dream, giving her a glimpse of what it might have been like with Daryl, her and Sophia as a little family. When Judith's happy squeals woke her up Carol had to fight off the ache in her heart. She didn't often dream of Sophia, so the images of Daryl and Sophia together, alive and happy were heartbreaking.

They hit the road again and walked until almost dark, giving them just enough time to set up camp in the last of the day light. "I think we might be there tomorrow," Carol said, smiling. She had no idea what to expect when they arrived at Terminus, but if Daryl was there, that was all that mattered. She prayed for Tyreese's sake that Sasha was there as well, and obviously she hoped Rick and Carl were there to reunite with Judith.

Tyreese surprised her when he spoke, "I hope he's there." She was confused, assuming he was talking about Sasha, but he had said "he." Tyreese continued setting up the tent. "Daryl, I mean. I know you miss him a lot. I hope he's there."

Carol thought she had hid her feeling for Daryl quite well, other than the one conversation they had. "Oh, uh, thanks. I do miss him. He helped me through some tough times, "she stammered. Tyreese gave her a knowing look, indicating that he wasn't completely buying what she was offering, yet he didn't press.

They ate supper, put out the fire and climbed into the tent to sleep. Judith cooed for a bit between them, but before long she was fast asleep. "Night," Tyreese whispered.

"Night," she replied, closing her eyes. Carol had just fallen asleep when she heard Tyreese mumbling in his sleep. She quickly switched spots with Judith, knowing that sometimes when the dreams were bad Tyreese thrashed. When he started getting really agitated Carol tried soothing him. "Hey, it's okay, shhhh," she said softly, rubbing his back gently. He seemed to calm down a bit at first, but got worked up very quickly again.

Finally he woke with a start, confused and disoriented. Carol watched his face as he started to realize where he was. He rolled over and looked at her. Before Carol realized what was happening Tyreese brushed her cheek with his large, surprisingly soft hand, and started to kiss her.


	3. Chapter 3

Carol pulled away almost immediately, even though there were parts of her screaming not to. She hadn't been kissed in years. And even then, it was sloppy drunk kisses from Ed when he came home trashed and wanted to get off. There was a tenderness in Tyreese's kiss that she had never experienced before and it was intriguing. But kissing him back would have been wrong because the second she closed her eyes he would have became Daryl and that wasn't fair to either one of them.

Tyreese was muttering an apology when she spoke. "Tyreese, please... I'm sorry too," she said softly. "Can we just sleep? Talk in the morning?" Carol pleaded. She wasn't ready to get into the kind of conversation they needed to have. She needed time to think and choose the best words she could come up with. She didn't want to hurt him. And as awful as it sounded, she didn't want to completely burn the bridge of romance between them. Carol knew it wasn't fair but if they found out Daryl was dead maybe... Just maybe she could find that kind of love with Tyreese.

He nodded and apologized once again. Carol could see the look of hurt in his eyes and she hated causing it. "Tyreese," she whispered, "I do love you, just not... It's not you... It's..." Carol stammered.

His eyes softened and he smiled at her. "Sleep. We have plenty of time to talk in the morning."

Carol lay with her back to him. How the hell could he be so damn nice, understanding, and so freaking perfect? She had hurt him and somehow he ended up comforting her. If she was honest with herself Tyreese wasn't blameless, he had initiated the kiss. But at that moment she felt like shit, simply for being a part of the sadness in his eyes, whether she truly had any blame in the matter or not.

She thought for a while about what she would say in the morning. Carol didn't know if she should lie or just be honest. If they found Daryl at Terminus and Carol lied to Tyreese about why she couldn't be with him he would be hurt. Even worse. No, she knew she had to tell him the truth about her feelings for Daryl.

Carol was really tired but she was afraid to fall asleep. She wasn't sure if dreaming about Daryl would just make matters worse and jumble her mind even more. Eventually it was out of her hands as exhaustion took over and she slipped into dreamland.

_The dream started with the same blackness as usual but this time when it cleared she was sitting alone in a beautiful field of wildflowers, clutching a bouquet of daisies, lilies and black eyed susans she had picked. His voice came from somewhere behind her, but Carol didn't turn, she simply smiled. She felt him sit down behind her and his voice was in her ear, "you forgot the most beautiful flower of all," he whispered, presenting her with a delicate Cherokee rose._

_Carol accepted it and turned to look at him. "I looked all over for one of these," she said. "Where did you find it?"_

_Daryl shrugged and placed a soft, lingering kiss on her lips. "I guess you just have to know where to look," he said as he pulled away. Carol leaned against him feeling the steady rhythm of his heart and sighed contently.  
_  
Carol woke, immediately after the dream, with a sense of easiness. It was wiped away when she saw Tyreese and remembered the talk they would have when he rose. She decided to get up and busy herself doing morning chores. Carol figured it would be best to talk while they were walking. No sense in wasting any daylight traveling time. She had breakfast waiting and most everything else packed up when Tyreese emerged.

"Morning," she said, trying rather unsuccessfully not to feel awkward.

Tyreese saw breakfast was ready and smiled at her thankfully, "Morning."

He seemed to be faring way better than her which made Carol even more uneasy. As far as she was concerned, until they talked, there was an elephant in the room the size of Georgia. She took a deep breath. "So if you're okay with it, I thought maybe we would get all packed up and hit the road before we talk... About last night?" Tyreese paused mid bite and looked at her, a grin spreading across his face. "What? Why are you smiling?" she asked, confused.

Tyreese shrugged, "you're cute, that's all." Carol sighed in frustration. Why were men such insufferably annoying creatures? He knew he had irritated her so Tyreese continued, "just relax. We can talk whenever you're ready. I have nothing but time on my hands," he laughed easily. "When you want to talk, just say the word."

Carol narrowed her eyes and watched him eat. She couldn't figure out what was going on in his head and it bugged her, a lot. She was very, very good at reading people. It was the main reason she got to know Daryl so easily in comparison to the rest of the group. They bonded quickly because they had a similar past, filled with demons, but also because she was able to figure him out. But Tyreese was different. Perhaps he was just too normal, too all American, kind hearted and genuine for her warped and damaged mind to understand. If there was a hint of envy, greed or evil inside Tyreese she couldn't find it. She made a note to discuss him with Sasha someday, when they found each other.

Judith woke, interrupting her analysis. It was a relief since she was batting zero anyway. Half an hour later she had Judith ready and Tyreese had the tent packed up. It was time to hit the road. "Here, let me," Tyreese said, taking Judith from her. "You look like you might stop breathing any second, the extra weight isn't going to help," he teased.

"Why are you making this so difficult?" Carol growled in frustration.

Tyreese looked at her as they walked. "What do you mean? I'm trying to make this as easy for you as possible."

"That's exactly what I mean," she shot back. "Why? I don't understand it. You kissed me, I didn't kiss you back. Yet you're not mad, frustrated, hurt... Why?"

Tyreese shook his head, "You're wrong. I do feel all of those things Carol. But why would I want to make you feel even worse when you're already so upset?"

Carol was shocked at his admission. "Me? You're worrying about me?"

"Of course I am," he replied. "I thought last night, if anything, would show you how much I care about you." Tyreese adjusted Judith to the other arm. "For whatever reason, you don't feel that way about me, and that's ok. If you want to tell me why, great. But if you don't that's okay too."

"You would be okay if we dropped it and never spoke about what happened? With no explanation?" she asked.

"I can't make you love me if you don't. But I can certainly try," he replied with a grin. "But will you be okay with it? That's what's important to me."

His self sacrificing nature was a hard pill to swallow. As much as Carol would have loved to just pretend nothing happened she knew she couldn't just let it go. He deserved to know the truth. Carol shook her head, "I need to explain." She paused and inhaled slowly. "Please know that I care deeply for you. We've shared experiences that will forever change who we are and what we believe. That's a bond we will share our entire lives." Carol looked at him. She stopped walking and reached for his hand. "Tyreese I do love you, you're family now, but my heart... I..." as many times as she had said the words in her head Carol couldn't get them out without a struggle. "I love... I love Daryl," she stammered, looking away awkwardly and then back to meet his eyes. It felt so good to admit it to someone, but she knew her admission would sting for Tyreese and that hurt her.

Carol watched his face as her words sunk in. It went from shocked, to angry, to calm. "Don't do that," she said angrily pulling her hand away. "Don't pretend I didn't hurt you. Don't hide it for my benefit."

"Carol, calm down," he touched her shoulder. "I wanted it to be about Karen, I really did. I thought we could get passed that in time. But somewhere inside I always knew that's what you were going to say." Judith started to babble and they both smiled at her, it was impossible not to. "Why should I make you feel bad about being in love?" he continued.

Carol opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She wanted to punch him for being so understanding. And she wanted to hug him for being so kind. "I could see how you felt about Daryl, even before I got to know you. The first thing I admired about you was how much you cared about others. It was something I could relate to. But there was always this special look that you gave Daryl. I saw it because you and I are a lot alike and it's the same way I looked at Karen."

Carol felt like she was going to throw up. "oh God Tyreese, and I took that from you," she said with a sob.

Tyreese hugged her. It was a group hug with Judith in the middle. "Stop. We've been over this, I forgave you for that. I understand why you did it. And I know you ended her suffering." Carol pulled away and looked at him. "Come on now. I know what it's like to lose the person you love most. But Daryl's not dead, right?" She shook her head. "So let's go find him. He doesn't know how you feel right?"

Carol shook her head again and followed as Tyreese started walking. "One last thing though, before we put this conversation to rest... If he fucks this up and hurts you, he's a dead man. You deserve to be happy." Tyreese smiled, and stopped beside her. "I lied, one more thing." He kissed her cheek, "I'm a very patient man."

"Come on, let's go find your skinny redneck at Terminus before my sister puts the moves on him," Tyreese joked.

Finally Carol let herself smile. "I think the only brother in law you need to worry about is Bob."

"Yeah?" Tyreese was surprised.

Carol nodded, "you didn't catch that vibe?"

"No, wow. Missed that completely," he chuckled.

They walked and chatted easily. Carol couldn't believe how lucky she was to have a friend like Tyreese. They saw another sign for Terminus and Carol looked at the map. Her heart started to pound. They were close. So close. They would make it by dark, she was sure of it. "Please be there Daryl," she prayed silently.

.~.~.~.~.

Daryl tromped through the woods. He knew he was likely scaring away any potential food with all the branch snapping his boots were creating but he was angry and he couldn't help it.

He had lost Beth. And Carol was gone, with no way to find her. He felt guilty about Beth. He'd been stupid and opened that door without checking. Someone took off with her while he was trying to save himself from the walkers he had let in. He felt obligated to find her because he believed it was his fault she was taken. With Carol it was different. It wasn't his fault she was gone but he had to find her. With Beth it was obligation, with Carol it was a necessity. He would always have it weighing on his conscience if he never found Beth but if he never found Carol a piece of his heart would be forever lost. Perhaps the whole fucking thing.

Daryl paused. There was an animal near by. He held his breath and a deer appeared. If there was one thing Daryl knew about hunting and tracking it was that sometimes you just have to know where to look. He raised his crossbow and let the bolt fly.


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh God, I think we made it," Carol said, looking at Tyreese with a nervous, but excited smile. He gazed back at her with a similar look. They both had so much invested in this moment. She reached for his hand, knowing that he was praying to find Sasha as hard as she was praying to find Daryl. And there was obviously the hope they both had to return Judith to her family.

Carol knew that they had travelled much slower than the others. If everyone had seen the signs and started immediately towards Terminus she figured the three of them were at least a full week behind, if not more. The stop and tragedy at the Grove had obviously slowed them, and working with a baby's schedule as well.

Carol gave his hand a squeeze. "She's going to be here. She survived, I know it," she said encouragingly. Tyreese offered her a smile and squeezed her hand back.

Tyreese tried to comfort her as well, "If anyone survived the attack it's Daryl. And we know he would be just fine out in the woods." Carol gave him a look of thanks. Once again, he was putting his own feelings for her aside to talk about the man that truly had her heart.

Carol lifted Judith from Ty's arms and gave her a hug. "Let's go find your daddy." The emerged from the forest and started to walk towards the gates.

"Carol? Tyreese? Oh my god, Dad, Dad, come here quick," a familiar voice yelled from the other side of the gate. Carol felt tears welling up in her eyes when she realized it was Carl manning the gate. Michonne was there as well. They opened the gates as Rick came running. He froze and looked at her holding Judith. Even when the gates were open Rick didn't move. He put out an arm to hold Carl back and Carol felt her stomach turn over. She assumed with everything they had been through he would at least be open to discussing her becoming part of the group again.

"Judith?" he whispered, his face contorting with emotion. All off a sudden Rick came running towards her. Carol wasn't sure what was going on until he wrapped her in a hug, Judith between them. "Thank you, thank you for saving her. I owe you everything," Rick mumbled into her ear.

Carol returned his hug. "Actually Tyreese saved her," Carol said gently. "I came back Rick, I saw the end…" He drew back as she spoke and Carol released Judith into his arms. "I met up with Tyreese and the kids…" her voice trailed off and a lump rose in her throat thinking about Lizzie and Mika.

"The kids?" Rick was confused, looking around to see if he was missing anyone. Tyreese caught his eye and shook his head gravely, as if to say it wasn't the time. Rick understood.

"But without Carol, there's no way I would have made it here with a baby," Tyreese offered, changing the subject slightly. "She's amazing. She's the only one that could get Judith to stop crying, every time," he grinned.

Rick hugged Judith, pressing his cheek to hers. "I owe you both," he said. "We do," Rick added, pulling Carl into his family hug. "Thank you, from the bottom of my heart." He handed Judith to Carl, who was anxiously waiting to hold his sister. They laughed as Judith kissed her bother full on the mouth.

As the first reunion calmed down a bit Carol's heart started pounding, she needed to know. "Rick, is he… Daryl?" was all she could get out.

Rick grinned at her. "He's here. Sasha too," he looked at Tyreese. "I can take you to Sasha, but Daryl isn't physically here, right now."

Carol felt her heart sink. Knowing that Daryl was there had elated her and her cheeks were wet with tears. But the tears fell faster as she waited for an explanation. "Michonne, take Tyreese to find Sasha. Carl, go with them. Maggie will want to see Judith and you can introduce your sister to the others."

Carol gave Tyreese a quick hug. "I'm so happy for you," she whispered. "Go find her," she shooed him. Carol watched them leave and then looked to Rick for more information on Daryl.

"He's okay. But you know Daryl. He was upset about what I did and not being able to find you. And he escaped with Beth but she was kidnapped and no one has seen her since. He feels a sense of responsibility for losing her. And he just…" Rick paused. "He's not himself without you. I should have seen it before, but I didn't." Carol felt her chest tighten with his words. "He needs you Carol. If I had known that I would have done things differently." Carol assumed that was about all the apology she was going to get, but Rick kept talking. "I'm sorry. I made a bad decision. And it wasn't even my decision to make. Can you forgive me?" Carol didn't know what to say. She simply nodded. "Daryl should be back soon, tomorrow maybe. The day after at the latest. He's hunting to clear his mind. And honestly, I think he's searching for you. He may have given up on ever finding Beth, but he will never give up on finding you. It would break him completely."

Carol realized she was crying again when Rick hugged her. "Does Tyreese know?" he asked, referring to the murders.

"Yes," Carol finally spoke. "Can we sit somewhere and talk?" Rick locked up the gates and they found a place nearby to sit. He had sent everyone else off, so Rick had to stay guard. Carol explained everything that had happened with Lizzie and Mika. Rick took her hand and held it for comfort as she talked.

When she was finished he spoke softly, "I owe you even more. You really did save Judith's life, even after the attack." Carol leaned against him. She was thankful that her relationship with Rick was repaired. They had always had a connection and had offered each other comfort in times of need in the past. "I'm glad things with Tyreese worked out," Rick said.

"He really is something special," Carol replied, wistfully. "I've never met anyone so selfless and kind hearted."

Rick studied her face, "Do you… you don't? The two of you?" Rick was trying to ask if they had feelings for each other.

Carol shook her head. "I love him, of course I do, but I'm in love with…" her voice trailed off, it didn't feel right saying it to anyone else before Daryl even knew the truth.

Rick nodded, once again he understood. "He needs you Carol. I can't wait until he gets back and sees you here."

Carol couldn't wait either. Literally. She wanted to bolt, right that second and take off to look for him. Instead she asked Rick to explain Terminus, to distract her for a while. It was a long and dangerous story and Carol realized that everyone she had found could just have easily been dead. Terminus was a dark and scary place. The group had been trapped in a train car but under Rick's lead they were able to escape and launch a counter attack. They had taken over Terminus, removed the threats and the few residents that were left were locked up until they were sure they could be trusted. They had won Terminus, and once again they had a home.

Not long after Rick finished his story Maggie and Glenn came running towards them. Carol stood and was enveloped in a huge hug between the two of them. "I'm so happy you're safe," Glenn said. "We know everything. Rick told us and we all know you did it to try and save us. Rick knows he was wrong to banish you," Glenn added, shooting Rick a look. Carol was so afraid it was going to be awkward to rejoin the group, but she realized quickly that this was her family and they loved her unconditionally.

Maggie and Glenn offered to watch the gate for a bit while Rick introduced her to the new group members and then spend some more time with his daughter. Carol was introduced to Eugene, Rosita, Tara and Abraham. She immediately took a liking to the big red head. He was interesting. He looked tough, but Carol had a feeling he was a lot like Tyreese. His girlfriend Rosita seemed sweet, yet Carol knew she could hold her own. Eugene was an interesting character. Rick filled her in on their mission to get Eugene to Washington. They were thinking of leaving soon, but were hoping more people would show up at Terminus that would be interested in joining their mission. Tara seemed a bit shy, but Carol was confident that they would be friends in time.

Later Carol found Tyreese, Sasha and Bob and shared a smile with Ty noticing she had been right about Sasha and Bob. Eventually Carol and Tyreese were taken on a tour and given their own rooms. Rick put her right beside Daryl, who in true Daryl style, had taken a room off on his own, away from everyone else. Tyreese was closer to the group, not far from Sasha.

After dinner Carol talked to Rick. "Maybe Tyreese and I could take the first watch tonight? Might as well get into the swing of things around here right away," she said. Rick was on board with the idea and her and Tyreese relieved Michonne and Abraham later that night.

As soon as the others were out of sight Carol looked at Tyreese. "I'm leaving," she said. "I'm going to try to find him." She had brought a back pack with her, but kept it small hoping no one would find it odd and ask questions. Tyreese looked at her with sadness yet understanding. "I had to be on watch with you because I knew no one else would let me go. You're the only one that knows and believes I can look after myself."

Tyreese nodded at her and pulled her into a hug. "Be careful and good luck," he said. "If you don't find him, just come back. He'll be back, Rick said so."

Carol nodded and Tyreese opened the gate for her. "Thank you," she whispered before taking off into the night.

She had no idea what direction to go in, but assumed if Daryl was hunting that he was likely in the woods. And since they hadn't run into him in the woods to the north she opted for the woods to the south. Carol started to run. She knew she couldn't keep up the pace for long, but she had such a need to find him that she had to move fast. It had been a long time since she was able to move so quickly, without the baby. Once she was a distance from Terminus she started to pay more attention to her surroundings. She had a flashlight in her pack that she'd been saving for a while. The batteries were brand new and would last a few hours at least.

Carol started to search for any sign that someone had been through the area. Broken twigs, tracks, anything. She really didn't know what she was looking for, that was Daryl's thing, but she was trying. Eventually she found what she assumed was an old fire pit. It renewed her sense of hope. It could have been from anyone but her heart wanted to believe it had been his.

It was getting late and Carol was starting to slow down. She heard a sound and drew her knife. She wanted it to be Daryl, but it was just a lone walker and she put it down quickly, hoping there were no others. She considered making her own fire and taking a break for a bit but decided to push on a little longer. Carol bent over and shone her light on something that caught her attention on the ground when all of a sudden she was attacked from behind. She grunted as she hit the ground and the flashlight flew out of her hands. Carol struggled for her knife, but she was pinned and couldn't move.

Her captor got to the flashlight first and shone it in her face. Carol squeezed her eyes closed as a voice rang in her ears, "Carol? Holy fuck, is that really you?"

Suddenly the weight lifted off her and she was pulled to her feet. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought she was going to pass out. Carol knew that voice. It was the only voice she had been wanting to hear for weeks. "Daryl," she said softly, reaching out to find his face. Her eyes were still adjusting to the dark again after having the light shone in them. But she knew just by feel that it really was him. He leaned into her touch and Carol started to cry. She had dreamed about him every night. She had hoped and prayed for this moment and finally it was here.

"I missed you," was the only thing she could think to say, as she placed her other hand on his face, cupping it. The moon was bright enough that she could see his eyes. There was a slight glisten there, the closest Daryl would get to happy tears she was sure.

Daryl didn't say anything at first, but he slipped the flashlight into his back pocket then placed a hand on the small of her back and drew her closer. With the other hand he brushed away a couple stray tears on her cheeks. "I was looking for you," he said finally.

"I know," she laughed. "Rick told me and now I'm looking for you."

"You found me," Daryl replied.

Carol shook her head, "No, you found me. You always do." She couldn't hold back any longer, Carol needed to find out if he really did feel the same way. She pulled his face closer to hers and kissed him softly. Carol was shocked at the urgency in which he returned the kiss but it told her everything she needed to know. His tongue found its way into her mouth and she met it eagerly with her own. Carol gasped as he pulled her tighter against him, crushing her with his strong arms.

They kissed like they had been waiting their entire lives for each other and Carol was pretty sure she truly had been saving everything for him. It was better than anything she had dreamt about. Better than she could have imagined or expected. As the kiss continued she let her mind wander to the possibility of more. She wanted him so badly. Carol was more than willing to be pressed up against a tree and fucked if that's what he wanted. She reached for the front of his pants, indicating her interest, and elicited a low groan from somewhere deep inside him.

Daryl slipped a hand between them and reached for her breast, squeezing it gently and Carol sighed into his mouth. Everything had been building to this moment. Her desire to see him again, to find him, the dreams she endured every time she closed her eyes, the love that was inside her just for him… it all built up to an incredible amount of lust that she couldn't possibly hope to control. Carol knew it was the same for him. He wanted her like he had never wanted anything before.

Carol reached for the button on his pants and Daryl pulled away. "Not here," he said breathlessly. "There are walkers all over, it's too dangerous." He kissed her again, as if he was compelled to. "I can't lose you again."

"Do you know the way back, in the dark?" she asked.

"Yup, and we can sneak in through the back," he replied, holding up a key attached to a chain around his neck.

"What are we waiting for then?" Carol replied with a giggle. She couldn't remember a time she was so happy. She had no idea how he was going to react to her kiss or her touch but she couldn't have hoped for a better reaction. Their time apart and desperate need to find each other had made it very easy for him to finally give in to her. Daryl had never dealt well with touch or affection from what she had seen in the past. But tonight he was allowing and offering both. It was going to be a night that neither would forget.

Daryl picked up a rabbit off the ground and handed it to her to carry. He took the flashlight out of his pocket and turned it on. When he reached for her hand Carol realized why she needed to carry the rabbit. He gave her a tug and they took off into the night, urgently trying to get to a safe place where they could finally be together.


	5. Chapter 5

_What's even better is knowing that forever you're all mine. The closer you get, the more my body aches. One little stare from you is all it takes. – I Melt – Rascal Flatts _

Everyone was fast asleep as they snuck through the halls to Daryl's room. Obviously someone was watching the gate, but they had come through a back entrance that few people knew about to avoid whoever was on guard. Daryl explained that Rick had given him the keys so he was free to come and go as he pleased. Rick knew that Daryl needed that little bit of freedom and autonomy but Carol also believed it may have had something to do with Rick's role in Daryl's grief.

Carol's heart had been pounding the whole way back, not only from the quick pace they had kept, but also from anticipation and excitement. But when Daryl opened the door to his room her heart started to pound harder, but it was fear and nervousness this time.

"It's not much," Daryl said gesturing around the small room. "Haven't been here enough to make it homey."

There was a bed in the corner, made neatly, and an end table with a lamp on it. A few random articles were scattered around the floor, but other than that, the room was bare. "It's perfect. Better than leaves and pine needles," Carol joked, trying to shake the warble from her voice that the nerves brought on.

Daryl was more perceptive than that, he caught on immediately. "Hey, we don't have to..." his voice trailed off but it was enough.

"No, I mean yes..." Carol fumbled over her words. She sighed in frustration of not being able to articulate. That was not usually a problem for her until lately and it annoyed her deeply. She took a breath to clear her mind and then found what she hoped were the right words before continuing. "Daryl, Tyreese and I have become close..." The second her words sunk in she saw Daryl recoil as if she'd punched him. "No, no please let me finish before you get upset." Once again she was angry with herself for this not coming out right but she forced herself to just spit out the words. "He kissed me," Carol admitted.

The look on Daryl's face made her want to cry. She didn't want to hurt him, she hadn't intended that at all, but she wanted to be truthful. Daryl's face was turning red, his eyes flashed with something... Maybe anger, but Carol was pretty sure it was jealousy. She grabbed his hand to try and calm him, but also to make sure he wouldn't pull away. "Daryl, please listen, I didn't kiss him back. I couldn't. There was no way I could feel anything for another man when there was still a chance..." He started to soften as her words hung in the air. Carol had to continue, she had to say it, "when there was still a chance you were alive." She reached for his other hand. "But I had to be honest with him Daryl. I owed him that much. He knows," she finished with a whisper.

"Knows what?" Daryl asked. Simply the sound of his voice was soothing.

Carol looked him straight in the eye, "that I love you." Whether it was her own insecurities or her need to make things easier for him Carol didn't wait for a reply. She didn't want him to feel like he had to say it back and she wasn't even 100% sure he would. So Carol protected them both by pressing her lips to his.

In that moment everything she had hoped, dreamed, wished and prayed for was becoming real but it was so surreal that Carol was convinced she was dreaming. She kissed him and clung to his body as if it would all disappear in a poof if she let go. She never wanted to wake up from those dreams again, just to feel the sting and overwhelming sadness all over. It wasn't until Daryl's arms snaked around her body to hold her just as tightly that Carol finally allowed herself to believe it was real.

She liked kissing Daryl and it wasn't just because of the way she felt about him, though that obviously played a role. There was an initial shyness, or insecurity perhaps, maybe even a lack of experience or just that he was out of practice, but it made Carol feel a sense of control that she had never felt before. Maybe it was partly the change in her own personality that allowed her to take charge in all facets of her life, when before she was merely obedient and compliant.

Carol could tell that even from the kiss in the woods to the kiss they were engaged in that he was quickly becoming comfortable with her. Daryl seemed happy for her to take the lead but eventually his responses told her that he had the ability to take over at any point. But he left that decision up to her. Carol slipped her tongue deeper into his mouth, his groan echoing her own. Her hands were splayed on his back, fingers tracing the angel wings on his vest. It was a reminder that they were still fully clothed so Carol made the first attempt to rectify that. She pushed the vest over his shoulders and Daryl released her long enough to let it fall before pulling her in tight once again.

They kissed a little longer and Daryl surprised her by pulling away and reaching for the bottom of her shirt, yanking it up. She raised her arms to help as he tugged it up over her head and off. Carol felt a bit self-conscious about the bra she was wearing. It was old and very worn. They had found a few bras while scavenging but they never seemed to be her size. She opted to distract him, by removing his shirt too. Once his chest was bare Carol reached around behind her and undid the clasp on her bra, slowly letting it fall away.

Daryl was staring into her eyes as if he was afraid to look down. Carol smiled at him and reached for his hand, moving it to her breast. His eyes followed and Carol felt her skin prickle at the look of pure desire on his face. He flicked a thumb over her nipple and circled it a few times until it was fully erect before taking it into his mouth. Carol could feel him tracing the same path with his tongue and it started a burning sensation deep inside her.

She had wanted to take it slow and easy with him, one step at a time. But her desire was destroying her patience and Carol found herself reaching for his belt. She needed to see all of him, every inch. They both fumbled with each other's pants until Carol finally laughed, "let's just get our own." A combination of nerves and trying to hurry had made her all thumbs but Carol was relieved to know Daryl was the same. They did much better with their own clothes, thankfully, and were soon both standing naked before each other.

Carol suddenly understood his reaction when she removed her bra. She wanted to look down but she was terrified. She kept staring at his face, afraid of what seeing him aroused would do to her. Carol knew it was stupid, this is what she had wanted forever, but once she looked at him completely naked she knew her body would take over with no way to stop it. This was it. This was the moment she craved.

Carol took one step forward, still looking into Daryl's eyes. She reached out and touched his chest lightly with the tips of her fingers. He visibly trembled at her touch and Carol felt the corners of her mouth turn up. She knew it couldn't be easy for him to allow her to touch him like that. Carol wasn't absolutely sure, but she suspected that she may have been the first woman he had allowed to boldly explore his body like she was. As her hand traveled down his chest she allowed herself to look at the rest of him. Her heart caught in her chest. He was beautiful. Simply perfect, as far as she was concerned.

When her hand finally grasped his full arousal Daryl groaned and Carol felt him throb in her hand. She was shocked when Daryl grabbed her wrist, "I can't…" he mumbled. Her heart felt like it was going to break as she looked up at him in shock. "Oh I don't mean…" Daryl started, seeing the pain in her eyes. "It's just, I can't… it can't be so slow," he searched her eyes for understanding. "I need…" Carol understood completely what he needed. This wasn't the time for slow and painful foreplay. He wanted to make love immediately and she was ready. Carol gave him a nod of understanding and Daryl guided her to the bed. They would have plenty of time to take things slow later, right then he wanted to be inside her just as much as she wanted him there.

Carol lay back on the bed and Daryl hovered over her. She spread her legs and he positioned himself between them. He gave her a look as if to say it was her last chance to change her mind but Carol simply smiled at him. She felt the tip of his penis graze her gently as he lined it up. When he finally penetrated and eased into her Carol thought her heart was going to explode. She couldn't remember anything that had ever felt so good and so right in her entire life.

The gentleness with which Daryl made love to her surprised Carol. Even when things got intense and he was driving into her there was a tenderness behind it. It sounded so cliché in her mind, but it was as if she could feel how much he loved her. Carol was certain only moments into the sex that he did love her. Daryl didn't have to say it, she just knew.

Carol also knew that he was going to make her come, fast. Every time Daryl pushed deep into her she felt herself getting closer to the edge. As she approached it was as if the world was getting father away and she was retreating into a place of pure pleasure and ecstasy. Finally everything exploded and Carol felt her body release with a wave of heat. She knew what she was doing but had absolutely no control. Her nails dug into his shoulders and sounds escaped her throat. Carol hoped she wasn't being too loud, but she honestly couldn't tell and in that moment she really didn't care about anything beyond the way Daryl was making her feel.

Daryl was still moving into her as her inner muscles started to contract around him. Just as she was returning to her senses Daryl came. Carol watched him as he shuddered and emptied deep inside her. The look on his face aroused her all over again even though she had barely finished round one. As he finished Carol reached up and brushed a stray piece of hair out of his eyes, then touched his cheek in a wordless thank you. Daryl surprised her once again when he turned his head and kissed the palm of her hand.

As they lay together afterwards Carol was melting into him, just enjoying the warmth and security she felt in his arms. Daryl interrupted her bliss, "So you know I wanna punch Tyreese in the face for kissing you, right?"

Carol turned to face him, with a smile. "Stop. I'm all yours, there's nothing to be mad about." She had to admit that she liked the fact he was jealous.

"Yeah but he kissed you and you didn't want it…" Daryl's voice trailed off.

"Oh so you want to defend my honour?" Carol teased.

"Maybe," Daryl gave her one of his half smiles she loved so much.

"Honestly," Carol said, her voice taking a more serious tone. "Tyreese is an amazing guy. He forgave me Daryl, when I couldn't even forgive myself." Daryl reached for her hand to let her know he forgave her as well. They hadn't talked about the murders but Carol realized they didn't need to. Daryl supported her decision. "Can we just be happy? Everyone is back together." As soon as the words left her mouth she knew she was wrong. "Hey, we're going to find her. And it's not your fault," Carol knew losing Beth was still eating him up inside. "If you're going to insist on blaming yourself than I'll take part of that blame," Carol added. He looked at her, confused. "If I had arrived back at the prison earlier maybe I could have done something. Shot the governor… stopped him…"

"Carol…" he started.

"Beth wouldn't be missing and we would still have our home. It's not just on you Daryl, it's on all of us. We should have had a better escape plan, a meet up place, supplies hidden in the areas around the prison… We weren't prepared. We were complacent. And look what happened."

She may have continued but Daryl kissed her to shut her up. "You made your point," he said after pulling back. Carol gave him a smug look and snuggled against him once again. She yawned, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Hey, don't go to sleep yet, get dressed," Daryl said, climbing out of bed. She gave him a confused look. "There's one more thing we have to do." Carol smiled when he pulled 2 toothbrushes and toothpaste out of the nightstand drawer. "It just hasn't been the same without you."


End file.
